Or are you worrying about something you said earlier, or what you need to do tonight?
Most of us spend our whole lives dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. We feel regret, anger, guilt and hurt about the things that have happened, and anxiety, fear, concern and anticipation about tomorrow.
I had been living like this, unknowingly, for my whole life. Then, one gloriously sunny afternoon in 2020, I sat in my garden and read a book I’d been recommended by a friend, called ‘The Power of Now’. It talks about living totally presently, exactly as you are now, in this moment. It’s an incredibly hard thing to do. But when you manage to achieve it – to pause the constant stream of thoughts in your head – magic happens.
I was 17 when I first started taking the contraceptive pill. It cleared up my skin, and I lost a fair bit of weight. I was delighted. I continued on the same pill, Yasmin, up until I was 22, when I was advised by a doctor to try a POP pill due to suffering from migraines. There is a link between the risk of stroke and the combined contraceptive pill for women who suffer from migraines with aura. But as I don’t experience aura, this advice simply wasn’t suitable for me.
I decided to wait until I was feeling anxious to write this article. It didn’t feel right to try and explain what it’s like to get so anxious that you feel suffocated unless that’s how I’d been feeling all day.
Work, commuting, money, housework, eating well, keeping fit, getting enough sleep, staying in touch with friends. Daily responsibilities can be a lot to keep up with. Sometimes my mind can get swamped with all the thoughts and reminders I need to store in it. Sometimes I get anxious.