Or are you worrying about something you said earlier, or what you need to do tonight?
Most of us spend our whole lives dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. We feel regret, anger, guilt and hurt about the things that have happened, and anxiety, fear, concern and anticipation about tomorrow.
I had been living like this, unknowingly, for my whole life. Then, one gloriously sunny afternoon in 2020, I sat in my garden and read a book I’d been recommended by a friend, called ‘The Power of Now’. It talks about living totally presently, exactly as you are now, in this moment. It’s an incredibly hard thing to do. But when you manage to achieve it – to pause the constant stream of thoughts in your head – magic happens.
I was 17 when I first started taking the contraceptive pill. It cleared up my skin, and I lost a fair bit of weight. I was delighted. I continued on the same pill, Yasmin, up until I was 22, when I was advised by a doctor to try a POP pill due to suffering from migraines. There is a link between the risk of stroke and the combined contraceptive pill for women who suffer from migraines with aura. But as I don’t experience aura, this advice simply wasn’t suitable for me.
I’ve said this more times in my life than I’d like to admit. Running has never been my thing, even though I’ve attempted to make it my thing various times. I used to run occasionally in sixth-form, then in uni, then again a few years ago, and once more during the first lockdown when the gym first closed.
Well, here goes! I’ve wanted to write another fashion blog post for so long, and now that summer is nearly done *sob*, I realised I’d better get a move on.
I think I’ve delayed getting something written up because I am categorically not a fashion expert – far from it! I’ve never studied it, I don’t know the terminology, and I don’t follow any fashion shows (unless you count watching Tan french-tuck every top ever on Queer Eye).
Wow. I can’t believe it’s been a year since I came back from travelling... and four years since I graduated… and nine years since I left high school.
If similar thoughts often cross your mind, leaving you reeling at the fact that so much time seems to have slipped through your fingers, then (like me) you might be suffering from a bit of nostalgia. And if your memories are bittersweet, tinged with a little sting of pain, you’re not alone!
In a matter of months, lives across the world have changed beyond recognition. There’s no need for me to go into detail about the impact this has had on people – especially those who have been unfortunate enough to lose loved ones. It’s agonising to try and comprehend, so I won’t try to.
That’s the age you should have settled down with a partner. In a house, with a shared mortgage. You should have given each other a wedding ring. And you should be awaiting the birth of your first child. Oh, and I’m not done yet…
If you’ve read any of my recent blog posts or follow me on social media, I’m sure you’ll be well aware that I spent the first four months of the year in Australia and New Zealand. It really was the best experience of my life for countless reasons, one of which being that I had the breathing space and time to learn lots about myself.